Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm
Chapter 387: My Homecooked Bombs

Chapter 387: My Homecooked Bombs

Jiang He stared at the skies distractedly.

He was at first worried for the returning immortals... but in three minutes, he suddenly remembered that he had been unpleasant with the legacies that those immortals left.

“Others aside, the immortals of the Penglai Sect, Green Hill, or the nine factions would try to cut me down if they returned. It would be best if they did not come back!”

“Still...”

Being a paranoid person, Jiang he was especially afraid of problems, which is why he would try to resolve anything that troubled him or could potentially cause trouble for him.

Once he remembered that the immortals of the Penglai Sect, Green Hill or the nine factions might try to kill him even if it meant their lives, he could not help feeling a major headache!

“Those sects and factions are no trifle, and according to Hu Mei, any sect that could leave behind a Dao faction back then would at least have one Golden Immortal, or even Grand Luo... of course, those characters might not return since they would be fighting in another realm, but I’m going to be in trouble if even one Golden Immortal returns.”

“Even if a handful of True Immortals returned while Golden Immortals don’t, wouldn’t there still be dozens of them wanting to get back at me? Even if my Heavenly Thunderbolt Hand Grenade could easily kill them, that thing has such frightening power that it must not be used on Earth, since it could be vaporized entirely.”

Jiang He kept pondering, and eventually realized that there was only one solution to resolving all these troubles.

He would have to hide in outer s.p.a.ce to ambush the returning immortals.

“I must plan this ahead. Wouldn’t it be terrible if I mistakenly kill the elites of other sects by mistake, since I don’t know which immortals belong to which sect?”

Even as Jiang He pondered, w.a.n.g Hou flew toward him from the distance. As he landed, he gave Jiang He a weird look, and asked hoa.r.s.ely, “How did you do that, Jiang He?”

“How?”

Jiang He repeated, and only realized what had happened then... w.a.n.g Hou had loaned a bit of the Star Map’s power and probably knew about Mars. Hence, feeling a little embarra.s.sed, Jiang He laughed and answered, “Minister w.a.n.g, that was an accident.”

The corner of w.a.n.g Hou’s mouth twitched...

He was feeling dazed right now.

An accident?

You blew up Mars by accident?

Why do I feel an impulse to hit someone at those words?

w.a.n.g Hou shrugged and spread his hands when he saw w.a.n.g Hou’s look, and feebly said, “I was worried that the Sky Demons would lay waste to life on Earth when they invade, which was why I made some homecooked bombs and went to Mars for a bit. I would wage a guerilla warfare against the Sky Demon legion, and kill however many Sky Demons I could... I just didn’t expect that...”

Homecooked bombs?

w.a.n.g Hou remained impa.s.sive.

What homecooked bombs? How many times had you used this excuse?

At first, your homecooked bombs were still within the limits of everyone’s comprehension, since it only blew up Ferals and martial artists reaching up to rank-six. But then you eventually progressed to blowing up high-ranked martial artists, the Sky Demon Cult’s base, the Penglai Sect... and now, Mars.

And you are still claiming that those were homecooked bombs?

Who would believe you?

On the other hand, Jiang He remembered how the True Immortal Sky Demon had noticed him and still felt fear from that. It registered on his face even as he flashed a pained smile. “Minister w.a.n.g, you wouldn’t know... but I really barely escaped death this time.”

w.a.n.g Hou’s expression stiffened.

He was already shocked by Jiang He blowing up Mars, but did not consider what enemies Jiang He would be facing when he went there. After all, that was a legion of three million Sky Demons, and among their ranked champions were hundreds of Sufferance, eighty Mahayana, four Heavenly Immortal, and one True Immortal.

But just as w.a.n.g Hou was about to voice his concern, Jiang He said, “I was riding my fox maid at the time...”

“Ride?”

w.a.n.g Hou could not help asking, but Jiang He directly ignored him and said, “When I rode my foxy to Mars, the True Immortal Sky Demon was giving their legion poisoned chicken soup to boost morale.”

“My foxy and I had stayed hidden in the atmosphere, but just as I was about to take out 100 Heavenly Thunderbolt... I mean, homecooked bombs, to ambush them, the True Immortal noticed us even before I could do a thing!”

w.a.n.g Hou’s heart was strung up right then.

Jiang He breathed a long sigh then. “I was so startled I shuddered and dropped all those homecooked bombs I was holding. Luckily, that True Immortal Sky Demon ignored me even though I quickly ran away with my foxy, and just dumbly reached out to catch the falling bombs.”

Jiang He stopped at that and added nothing further.

w.a.n.g Hou could not help pressing him, “Then, what?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m asking you: what happened afterwards?”

“What else?”

Jiang He held his stomach as he laughed out loud. “Don’t you think that True Immortal Sky Demon is a moron? A high and mighty Sky Demon, getting bombed by my 100 Heavenly Thunderbolt Hand Grenades? What else could happen?”

“That idiot even used his own hands to catch it and detonated the bombs, so they all ended up dead.”

w.a.n.g Hou was dumbstruck.

What the h.e.l.l!

You call it barely escaping death?

He held back his impulse to retort, but ultimately could not resist his curiosity to ask tentatively, “I’m sorry, Jiang He... but could you tell me what are these homecooked bombs you made?”

Jiang He took out one of the Heavenly Thunderbolt Hand Grenades with a flip of his palm.

w.a.n.g Hou carefully accepted it and looked at it closely, realizing that it was no different from the hand grenades usually shown in second world war dramas. The was even a fuse on its b.u.t.t, meaning that it was one of those that you bite to pull the fuse and throw it out before it exploded.

The only difference was that the material of this grenade is unique, since it looked like metal but wasn’t, and was even inscribed with the two words, ‘huge explosion’.

“Is that...”

“A hand grenade?”

w.a.n.g Hou’s lips twitched and he could not help asking, “How much power would a tiny hand grenade contain? Even if you threw a hundred of these... would Mars break so easily?”

Jiang He looked at w.a.n.g Hou as one would look at an imbecile with concern, and s.n.a.t.c.hed the Heavenly Thunderbolt Hand Grenade back while scolding, “You know nothing. I call this the Heavenly Thunderbolt Hand Grenade, otherwise known as the Heavenly Thunderbolt Huge Explosion Hand Grenade. I made it with my mystic treasure refinement technique, infusing compressed eighth or ninth-retribution heavenly thunderbolts within. Once they detonate, there would be rolling thunder, and it would blow up hundreds of targets, even if they are Paragon martial artists like you.”

“...”

w.a.n.g Hou’s expression darkened.

How did I suddenly become a unit of measurement?

As the two men conversed on, they suddenly looked up towards the distant horizon where dozens of figures were darting toward them. There were over a dozen Mahayana elites, while Sufferance and convergence elites numbered up to 200.

“Lord Jiang He, Minister w.a.n.g!”

Jin Sidao had flown the quickest and offered a fist-palm salute to both Jiang He and w.a.n.g Hou when he landed. “Lord Jiang He, I have reached out to the other factions, and many including the Jiuhua Sect, the Scale Dragons of Shennongjia, the Taixu Sect, and my Ten Thousand Swords Sect are willing to fight with you and repel the Sky Demon legion.”

Soon, many other elites reached them as well.

The Green Scale Dragon King of Shennongjia even quickly came forward, holding fist to palm and bowing as he greeted, “Lord Jiang He...”

He was fearing Jiang He right then.

Back then, he was not complicit when the nine factions tried to gang up on Jiang He in outer s.p.a.ce. However, he did not a.s.sist Jiang He either, and even secretly communicated with Jin Sidao and told him not to ‘make a mistake’... but contrary to what he had expected, Jiang He was not afraid of the prospect of returning immortals, and even made the nine factions pay for their misdeeds in blood within the blink of an eye, subjugating them entirely.

It was even said that the Mahayana cultivators of the Thousand Cavern Mountain were both slain. With their remaining Sufferance and Convergence cultivators all fleeing afterwards, it was no different from a sect destroyed.

Still, Jiang He was not concerned.

He smiled. “Brothers, I accept your sincerity but this really is unnecessary. I have wiped out every last champion and legionnaire of the Sky Demons on Mars.”