Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm
Chapter 301: h.e.l.lo, 110? I Want to Make A Report!

Chapter 301: h.e.l.lo, 110? I Want to Make A Report!

Jiang He felt very helpless.

Whenever the prodigies depicted in novels were ascending, they would either do so in battles and leave countless eyewitness shocked, or invoke a resounding phenomenon that shoots to the skies. In fact, they would be facing a dire threat each time they ascended where life and death hung in the balance, but would eventually pacify the threat.

Such an event...

Was exciting just thinking about it!

That was what anyone should experience when ascending, unlike his quiet ascensions on every turn, which were as soulless as they were unmeaningful.

“System, can I break up my Yuan Spirit and retrain?”

“System?”

“System...”

Jiang He called out several times, but the System did not answer, meaning that all Jiang He had done was complain futilely.

After complaining for a while, Jiang He pondered.

“Reasonably speaking, there should be a major obstacle even when rising from full-fledged True Child to Yuan Spirit, and it is normal for a lot of people to go their whole lives without ascending... so how did I manage to ascend in just three days?”

“My spirit is strong and far beyond my peers, but it has yet to reach the critical point of morphing... Could it be Twenty-Three Swords?”

Jiang He became thoughtful.

Twenty-Three Swords was a secret Yuan Spirit technique that could only be released by cultivating Yuan Spirit. In the original work of the Storm Riders, the Sword Sage had died after using it because he had yet to fully cultivate his Yuan Spirit.

On the other hand, the Twenty-Three Swords that Jiang He had revamped could be released without Yuan Spirt, though it would wound his spirit on each occasion.

That fact was obvious with how he needed sleep after each time he used the Twenty-Three Swords, and that was the case especially for this time—having to unleash it twice in short order, his spirit was wounded so seriously that he kept yawning even as he spoke to w.a.n.g Hou and the others...

“Could this be the storied ‘the new never comes if the old doesn’t go’?”

“Nope, that’s not it. That phrase misses the mark a little—at worst, I have a depleted spirit, which I could restore with sleep. Still, it might be because my spirit has changed from that cycle of depletion and recovery and condensed up to Yuan Spirit on its own.”

Jiang He hence began to study his Yuan Spirit.

Nonetheless, his initial ascension of Yuan Spirit was very weak, which was slightly uncomfortable for Jiang He who would reach the pinnacle of each stage whenever he ascended.

That said, Jiang He was a little pleased that he had ascended without spending Farm Points.

How many Farm Points had he managed to save in the process?

With that, Jiang He attempted Yuan Spirit projection, but his Yuan Spirit was too weak and he had a hard time holding on after flying several hundred meters. As such, he promptly withdrew it and tried buffing himself with the strength of his Yuan Spirit, greatly improving his combat ability.

Moreover, there were various unique usage for Yuan Spirit.

Divine mind, for example...

It was the next level for a person’s spirit, stealthier than spirit when used for detection and difficult to notice.

Of course, there were various wonders that Yuan Spirit was capable of as well, such as projecting one’s Yuan Spirit and cutting down an opponent with a sword, accomplis.h.i.+ng the legend of taking a foe’s head from a hundred miles away in the truest sense of the term.

“Now that I have condensed my Yuan Spirit, it means I can cultivate the fourth fold of the Three Thousand Calamities.” Jiang He realized with a start then, and promptly exclaimed in delight, “Doesn’t that mean I could cultivate entirely on my own, strengthening my Yuan Spirit every step of the way?”

Still, he felt great grief after his initial delight.

What was wrong with this world?

How could self-cultivation become a luxury too?

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Jiang He then smelled the rice aroma wafting from the kitchen as well as the sound of Sora and Boa Hanc.o.c.k cooking.

With a thought, his divine mind radiated away.

When he was a full-fledged True Child, his spirit would radiate up to forty kilometers away. Now that he reached Yuan Spirit and his spirit morphed into divine mind, it radiated over fifty kilometers, easily covering all of Lingzhou City, which was less than fifteen kilometers from his house in a straight line.

Still, he soon realized in shock that both Elder Guo and the youthful white-clothed guru were having beer in front of a grill store.

Clearly, the guru was letting himself go.

There were piles of beer bottles at their feet. The grill stall owner had already cleared away some of the bottles and had continued serving them the grilled skewers they ordered. Still, even as he put away the beer bottles, he studied in Elder Guo and the white-clothed guru in surprise.

After he was done cleaning, he quietly whipped out his phone and dialed a number from a corner.

“h.e.l.lo, 110?”

“I want to make a report...”

“These two men had been drinking for three days at my stall, and I had to cart out two trucks worth of beer bottles. I’m afraid that they might cause trouble after all that drinking...”

When the Stargate opened, the government had implemented an emergency evacuation of Lingzhou City citizens. Still, there were several hundred thousand of them, and Jiang He ended up wiping out the Sky Demon legion after the evacuation was halfway done.

Incidentally, the grill stall owner was one of those who could not evacuate in time.

He was busy packing up his valuables before fleeing, but had ended up getting dragged out to start grilling and three days straight at that, leaving his entire being crumbling.

In fact, telling the cops that the drinking buddies would cause problems was a lie.

The truth was that he could no longer hold on.

After downing two trucks worth of beer without even getting tipsy, how were they going to start trouble?

Naturally, those two’s hearing was sharp enough to hear the police report. The youthful guru smiled faintly and finished his bottle at one breath, smiling, “No need to call the cops, boss. We’ll leave right now.”

With that, he flipped his hand...

Thud!

A brick was slammed on the table.

The stall owner was on the verge of tears. “Brother, just leave, don’t use bricks... what the h.e.l.l!”

He mouthed an expletive even before he finished, staring straight at the brick and exclaiming in shock, “Is that a gold bullion?”

“What?”

“Is one not enough?”

The youthful guru asked, “It’s been 500 years since I left the mountain to eat, so I don’t know much about item prices these days. Name your price if one gold bullion isn’t enough... so what’s it going to be? Two? Three? Or five?”

Never left the mountain to eat for 500 years?

What the h.e.l.l? Was this young man who looked no younger than his own son some sort of immortal?

Elder Guo breathed an easygoing chuckle then, saying, “Elder, you don’t pay in gold or silver for eating nowadays, just bank notes.”

“Bank notes? Paper money?”

The white-clothed guru flashed a pained smile, saying, “There are only gold and silver in the Tantra Sect’s treasure vaults, no paper money.”

“Not paper money, but the Hua Nation’s currency called RMB.”

Elder Guo had wanted to fork out some money to ease the guru’s confusion, but found no RMB after searching for a while. As such, he took out a checkbook—it was given to him by the descendant from the current generation of the Guo clan, who told him that he just had to write a number on the check if he wanted to buy something outside.

“I rarely leave the house so I don’t have any bank notes,” he said begrudgingly. “Still, I have a check, and you just have to write a number on it.”

Nonetheless, Elder Guo was the outspoken and forthright type too.

He had wanted to have the grill shop owner write a precise number, but after some thinking, he decided that he and the youthful guru had been drinking as much as they could over the last three days. As they spoke about martial arts over the simple grill stall, both of them felt rewarded considerably, and so spent five million dollars at one go.

Handing the check to the grill stall owner, Elder Guo rose to his feet, saying, “You can cash in this check at any bank... by the way, your grill is really good.”

Trading glances with the guru, they laughed out loud and took the skies, both of them making their way towards Jiang He’s house.

Clearly, they had received the message from Jiang He’s divine mind.

The shop owner watched as they left in shock and awe. After that, he looked carefully at the zeros on the check before breaking into laughter.

***

Inside Jiang He’s mansion at Jinyintan Village, Jiang He stepped out of the mansion and into the yard, watching as two flashes streaking from the distant horizon and descending upon him.

“Guru, Elder Guo.”

Jiang He put fist to palm while both guru and Elder Guo returned his salute.

“You’ve been having a good time, Elder Guo, Guru.”

Jiang He teased, while the youthful guru grinned. “Since we’re idling anyway, we spoke about our martial path for days.”

After a few words, Jiang He smiled, “My maids are done cooking. If you please, gentlemen.”

As they entered the mansion, Sora and Boa had placed the dishes on the table.

There was Dragontooth Rice and eggplant... cooked into three dishes and one soup: coleslaw eggplant, stir-fried eggplant over meat, garlic eggplant... and eggplant soup.

Since Jiang He had requested that all dishes and soup were to be cooked with eggplants, there was no regard to the appearance of the dishes or if it was suitable for guests... why care about so much since it was for survival?

“Well...”

There was shock all over the guru’s face.

Was this the eggplant he had before?

Jiang He actually still had more of this floral spirit that promotes longevity? Moreover... is the kid even treating it as a floral spirit? It was being used as a normal house vegetable entirely.

Having eating two mouthfuls, he could not help feeling a jolt all over his body as he realized something in shock...

The eggplant dish still worked for him.

The ‘longevity’ actually stacked?

Though it was not like the two or three years added to his lifespan during the first occasion, those two mouthfuls still gave him several more months?

Elder Guo was puzzled.

Why did it feel as if the guru’s spirit, qi and essence was a little different after eating two spoonfuls of those dishes?

Were the dishes really that delicious?

Using his chopsticks and eating two spoonsful as well, his body jolted as well. His face fell as he turned his head toward Jiang He stiffly, who was smiling as he said, “I’ve prepared these dishes expressly for you two brothers, as you are just a step away from Zero Void tier. However, you wouldn’t be able to ascend as you reach the end of your lifespan and your physique withers, but my vegetables both promotes longevity and reinvigorates your physique. So, if you could use this to reach Zero Void, brothers, it would be the honor of the Hua Nation.”

Both men said nothing. Lowering their chopsticks, they stood up and bowed lengthily to Jiang He.

Jiang He did not stop them, but accepted their gesture composedly before smiling. “Alright, brothers, please eat.”

Both men hence wolfed down the food, soon wiping out the entire table’s worth of dishes. It was only after everything was finished that the white-clothed guru said, “There is no way for me to repay your grace for extending my life. Should I reach Zero Void, I shall repay with my body in answer to your favor.”

Elder Guo offered the same as well, but despite his great shock, Jiang He quickly conveyed that he was not interested in old men.

Both geezers who were sixteen hundred years old together laughed out loud.

‘Repaying with their body’ was merely a joke. They simply wanted to tell him that they would put their lives on the line for Jiang He, and would not excuse themselves away from any of his requests.

“By the way, now that the threat of Sky Demons is temporarily pacified, what would you do next, Mister Jiang?”

“Continue my farming here at home and cultivate a little as well.”

Jiang He smiled. “Moreover, I had promised the Superpower Research Department that I would catch them a Feral King from overseas, so I would leave the country... by the way, brothers, since you two have lived longer, you would certainly know about many secrets. Could you tell me about the ancient daemon cultivators and the secluded immortal sects?”

It was time to bring forward his plan to help his willow tree find a cultivation technique for plants.

Moreover, Jiang He was prepared to seek out a secluded immortal sect and see if he could get some mystic treasures, immortal arts or sage techniques, or perhaps stuff like soul medicine to plant.

Of course, those sects would definitely not give those to him that easily...

But Jiang He was not afraid. If need be, he would humble himself a little if need be to negotiate with them.