I Don’t Want to Be Loved (Web Novel)
I Don’t Want to Be Loved (Web Novel) - Chapter 159: To Keep Her Distance

Chapter 159: To Keep Her Distance

Mrs. Cessley’s voice trailed off at the end, voice full of worries and it was then that Rihannan realized what the duchess meant.

Her expression hardened. “I’ve made it clear before that you shouldn’t have any hopes of a successor…”

“My Queen, that’s not it. I was just thinking that…”

“Perhaps you take my words as a joke, enough to simply ignore it?”

Hearing the queen’s cold and unexpected response, Mrs. Cessley’s expression flustered. She bit her lower lip and lowered her head.

“I apologize, Your Majesty. I acted out of line and made a mistake. This won’t happen again.”

“…Just don’t say anything to him… or who I met and that I vomited because I was feeling unwell.”

“But My Queen, that’s…”

“If you are my lady-in-waiting, you wouldn’t hesitate to ascend to my request. If that’s not the case…” Rihannan pursed her lips together, “…then do whatever you want.”

She turned her head and closed her eyes thereafter, blocking out any outside noise. Mrs. Cessley’s worried face made her heart break and her insides as if it was being ripped apart, but this was necessary.

She knew now the person who pushed her into the lake was Leticia… but that didn’t mean she planned to tell the truth to Igor.

Ironically, she’d rather die than seeing them together all over again. She couldn’t explain the feeling in her guts, but it told her that if by chance they meet again, they’ll fall in love. It was an obvious natural occurrence of two people who fell in love in the past to fall deeper for each other once more in this life.

She could also reason that the reason Igor was kind and affectionate towards her was that he hadn’t met Leticia yet. She saw how they practically fell in love at first sight back then and there was no telling how fiery their love would become in this life.

Rihannan laughed inwardly in dismal bitterness.

Though the thought of Igor and Leticia becoming a couple made her want to vomit, she found herself more revolting. She was trying to rip their fated love in this situation.

It was pathetic, she was pathetic. And what was she doing now? Even lowly animals who had experienced death would avoid everything that was the cause of their death at all cost, yet, here she was, following the same terrible road she once walked down in.

She volunteered to be his wife, and before she noticed, she fell in love all over again.

Love.

When the word popped in her mind, deluges of indescribable feelings rose up from the inside. Rihannan bit her lip hard, enough to bring her back to her senses.

That word was something she was always afraid to touch and explore.

But now, that once empty hatred and loathing she had for Igor had been replaced with pure love. She couldn’t understand these feelings she had. Why had she become like this? What happened to all the promises she made back then? It had gone down the drain.

However, if there was one thing different from the past, it was that she wasn’t willing to watch Igor cast her aside and choose Leticia as his lover over her. She’ll cast him aside before that ever happens.

When she arrived back at the palace, she didn’t follow Igor’s suggestion to visit him right away at the main palace but went straight to the Queen’s Palace. The curious Mrs. Cessley who wanted to voice a question kept her mouth shut.

Rihannan smiled bitterly, wondering if this was the point where the relationship she built with Mrs. Cessley will break apart. It was saddening that they’ll slowly drift apart, but this was inevitable…

In any case, she’ll leave Arundell and head to Chrichton soon while Mrs. Cessley would be staying. It was best to keep her distance from the duchess from now on.

That’s right…

This was how it should have been in the beginning… with Mrs. Cessley and Igor… yet she allowed herself to get close to them until now. Why does she do that knowing how it’ll end up the same? Had she not learned her lesson properly?