SSS-Class Suicide Hunter
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SSS-Class Suicide Hunter - Chapter 323: ■■■ only for you (2)
2.
I have heard your wish.
Every wish comes with a price.
First, I will take your name.
Second, I will take your face.
Third, let me take your fear.
If that’s alright with you.
And if you still think it’s okay.
Please.
May luck be with you.
3.
“…….”
Silence flowed between the two of us.
But the nature of the silence was different.
I closed my mouth to wait for an answer, while the Constellation bit their lips, not knowing how to respond. The ■■■■ ■■ ■■■, now with emerald hair and grey eyes, slowly exhaled.
“……However.”
However.
“I don’t know either.”
The breath was poisonous.
“I can’t remember what I looked like. Even if the Death King says he will find me, that, that’s just impossible. What tone I used, what clothes I wore. Whether I could wear them. I, myself, can’t recall.”
How can you find something that does not exist?
The breath murmured so.
For a long time, spewing the poison that had pooled in the lungs.
“I can’t find myself. Because I abandoned myself. Death King cannot find me either.”
“Yes.”
I nodded.
“Finding the original you might be difficult. Even if you think you found it, there’s no guarantee it’s the right one. It’s like planting a red flag claiming you’ve found the South Pole in the middle of a snowfield without any equipment.”
“Yes, so……”
“But you don’t need your original self.”
I caressed the Constellation’s cheek.
Tick.
[The skill is operational.]
A white outline appeared.
The smudging peeled off, and ■ crumbled.
Another bar shielding the constellation shattered.
“Finding your original self, I don’t think that will make you happy.”
“……Why do you think so, Death King?”
“You abandoned it, didn’t you? There must have been a reason.”
I smiled slightly.
“I don’t know where you were born. In the distant past, during your childhood, what you went through, what hurts you received. What embarrassing things you did. Those, trivial matters, I don’t know.”
It couldn’t even be seen as trauma.
No skill could possibly reveal it.
“However, I know what you like, how much you like it.”
You love adventures.
Breaking through enemies with the people you choose, experiencing hair-raising dangers, embracing true pain to leap over death, and continually moving forward in life.
Enough to give up your original name and face to achieve it.
“You are like me.”
“…….”
Using your last third wish, you’re okay with losing your existence.
“Then, please choose [the face you want to show me].”
“…….”
“I will see you as you wish to be seen by me. I will see what you show me. What else matters?”
“…….”
“You are like me. You like adventures. Chasing what you like, you’ve discarded needlessly heavy burdens and come this far. You.”
Tick.
“You haven’t lost yourself.”
Tick.
“You’ve come here trying to find the self you want.”
『Everyone is on a journey.』
『In a 5-pyeong room lies an infinite desert.』
“…….”
Flinch.
The Constellation shuddered once and looked at me.
[The skill ‘Universal Sovereign’ activates.]
Yes.
I am now borrowing the power of Universal Sovereign to write the world.
Just as the Constellation in front of me had brainwashed me.
This time, I become this child’s Constellation, showing the world.
『A Single Fox Cub.』
『In the desert where it was born, with nothing to drink or play with, the hills would flow away and valleys fill up as the wind blew through the night, and with each passing day, what was lost was home.』
『Not every child of the desert is able to love themselves from the moment they are born.』
『Only the night sky.』
“…….”
The constellation looked up.
[The skill is operational.]
With the will of Universal Sovereign imbued in my imagination, a vast night sky unfolded above the heads of us both.
Even in a barren desert, if you look up, stars are scattered all around.
“It’s okay.”
I whispered.
『Children with no landmarks in their birthplace have no choice but to walk with the night sky as their map.』
“I won’t deceive you.”
“…….”
In the world I imagined.
The journey of a young fox begins.
『All that can be heard by pricking one’s ears is the sound of the desert sand rustling, rustling, drying up.』
『Only the dry wind.』
『Accumulating sand in its heart, the fox walks.』
“It’s okay.”
『The fox walks with nothing to itself.』
『The food is never satisfying. Always.』
『Everything that grows in the desert always contains sand, so when you bite, grains of sand stick to the lips. No matter how much you eat, the thirst is never quenched. Surely something accumulates in what was once an empty heart, but it is not the starlight of the night sky, but the dry sand.』
『Wondering. Have I become the desert?』
“…….”
『Am I becoming the desert?』
“…….”
『The grains of sand that cover the world are countless and infinite, forming the Ganges of all that have died on this land so far, and the kotis of those who will die from now on, but am I just one grain of sand being added to the already infinite sand?』 (ED: Koti is a Sanskrit term meaning 10 million; here, it simply means millions.)
『The desert, is still a desert.』
『Wherever you look, there are only traces of death.』
『Everyone is dying.』
“…….”
『With nothing else to eat, the fox chooses a cactus.』
『Because it’s thirsty.』
『Sometimes, when traversing the desert, cacti stand like telephone poles. The child knows there’s water inside. Water. The only comfort to wash away the thirst like death.』
『The thorns are well formed.』
……To protect a handful of water…… in this sand hell…… how many thorns have you grown……
『The fox plucks the cactus while sobbing. It’s barefoot. Thorns pierce the soles of its feet. The blades graze its toes. Blood flows. The skin is pierced. But if it doesn’t drink, it feels like it will die, so the fox cuts the flesh of the cactus.』
……I’m sorry……
『It sucks up every last drop of water.』
……I’m sorry……
『Thorny water.』
『The fox is quenched. For a while, it seems able to walk a bit more. But its throat hurts. A sharp thorn is stuck.』
『The young fox has paid the price.』
『The cactus did not forget to take revenge on the beast that drank itself.』
“…….”
『After drinking the first water, and then the second, the fox realizes.』
『Maybe.』
『Maybe I am the one making the desert?』
『The fox, with its nose buried in the flesh of the cactus, suddenly looks up at the sky. The sun hurts. It always wondered why the world was a desert, curious where the desert came from, perhaps because the sun was hot.』
『Maybe the next sinner in this desert after the sun is me?』
“Ah…….”
『I have killed many cacti.』
“Ah,”
『I have cursed the cacti, asking why they couldn’t be an oasis.』
“Ah…. uh…, ah.”
『To those who grew thorns just to protect even a handful of water, why did you hurt the soles of my feet, I broke the black thorns. Those thorns were merely blackened because the blood had hardened.』
『When I walk the sandy path, the corpses of thorns lie strewn.』
“…….”
『The desert becomes even more of a desert.』
“……No. ……No, Death King. I am…….”
『Sting.』
『The fox’s throat hurts.』
“No! I, I did nothing wrong.”
『I ate too much sand.』
『I swallowed too many thorns.』
“……Why…….”
『But.』
『That was all there was.』
“……Yes…….”
『Please save me.』
『Someone, please save me.』
『There is nothing here.』
『I, too, have nothing.』
“……Yes…….”
『The only thing my feet have become accustomed to is breaking thorns.』
『Now, even when I drink from a cactus, my feet don’t get hurt, if that’s something to be proud of.』
『Not bleeding.』
『A sign of adulthood.』
『Sometime I found myself adept at surviving in this desert.』
“……I hate it.”
『I’ve also become accustomed to drinking water.』
『The trick is not to cut the cactus completely.』
『There’s no need to pull out all the thorns.』
『Just one or two.』
『At most three.』
『Then, just slightly peel the skin where the thorns have been removed and drink the juice. Just a little. A very slight pleasure.』
『I don’t get hurt.』
『The cactus doesn’t die.』
『There are no criminals, no corpses.』
“I hate it!”
『Just thirsty.』
『An unquenchable thirst grows little by little inside me, until it becomes as big as a heart.』
『Some nights, I vomited.』
『What was poured out from the heart was not blood, but sand.』
“I loathe it…….”
『Even the things I thought were stars in the night sky.』
『Looking back, they were already dead sands.』
『Shining sand illuminated by the sun.』
『Both this desert and the night sky were just graves.』
“……”
『After walking through the desert for thousands of years, the fox that came to gaze upon a starlight, slowly, let out a breath,』
“I am,”
I am.
“I hate this world.”
The breath was poisonous.
“It’s tedious. Boring. No, meaningless. Why? Why is there no meaning? How can you laugh? What’s fun? There’s nothing. It’s lacking. Actually, everything is lacking. Why are you here? Why keep staying there? How. In this utterly nothingness-filled world,”
Why do I have nothing?
“……Gong-ja.”
[■■■■ ■■ ■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■.]
Click.
[■■■■ ■■ ■■■ uses a skill.]
“Gong-ja, you will make me happy, won’t you?”
Suddenly.
An oasis spread out at the feet of the fox.
“Right?”
The mirror of the desert.
The unscarred white sand beach gets wet, turning white.
With every wave, the sand grains click, click, quietly rustle.
“…….”
I didn’t answer the fox right away.
Walking from the middle of the oasis, wading through the shallow water.
Crossing the water that barely covers the ankles.
I went around to the back of the fox.
“Yes.”
I grabbed the fox’s shoulder.
“It’s okay to drink me.”
Slightly, I exerted strength in my hand.
The fox naturally lowered its head when its shoulder was grasped from behind.
Water surface.
“If you wake up today and take a sip, I will bring that much water while you are asleep. Day after day, until the day I dry up.”
In the mirror of water so transparent it seems to shatter upon touch, the fox is reflected.
The face of the fox is reflected.
Even the fur color shining like gold.
And the eyes that have turned grey.
Even that ■.
“So.”
I held the fox’s back, supported its shoulder, and whispered in its ear.
“Please tell me your name.”
“…….”
“Please let me see you. Your face. Tell me the face you want to show me and the name you wish to be pronounced by me. Decide on them. Then.”
For as long as you wish.
“It’s okay for you to drink and live off me.”
Drip.
A ■ fell from the fox’s face.
It was black ink that flowed.
“……I lied to you…….”
The part where the ink fell turned pitch black.
The oasis became slightly murkier because of that.
But the water was still clear enough to swallow the ink shed by the fox and reflect its face transparently.
Yes.
Fortunately.
“I brainwashed you. I shattered your memories. I tore apart every voice that reaches you, and cut off every touch that comes your way. Yet, you to me.”
“I told you, it’s okay.”
I stroked the head of the young fox.
“My daughter is a Devil King who has killed me hundreds of times.”
I could stroke without a single lie.
“My son is a warrior who challenges me to a duel whenever he is bored.”
It was also fortunate that I could do so.
“My lover has stabbed my heart with a knife and killed me.”
“…….”
“Brainwashing? Memory manipulation? Sorry, but that’s nothing compared to that.”
I smiled.
“I don’t hate someone just because they’ve harmed me.”
“…….”
Silence flowed between us.
After a while, the fox spoke.
“But the person named Yoo Soo-ha…”
“Can we talk about that later? It would be even better if we don’t talk about it at all. Anyway, I’d appreciate it if you could tell me your name.”
Silence flowed again.
But the direction of the silence was different.
“……My name is…….”
I closed my mouth to wait for an answer, and the fox bit its lip, not knowing how to respond. The young fox, now with golden fur and grey-colored eyes, slowly let out a breath.
“■■■■ ■■ ■■■…….”
The fox’s lips reflected on the water surface moved slightly.
“Only for you.”
Perhaps.
The fox pondered over the seven syllables it could choose, about the seven blanks the world allowed it.
And suddenly looked down at its grey-colored eyes.
“…….”
The fox nodded.
“Yes.”
Click.
Finally, all the ink peeled off from the beautiful face of the fox.
With the black ink gone, thorns vanished from the voice, and sand cleared from the heart.
“Only for you,”
The child of the desert said.
“I am, an music box only for you.”
And so, it became.
[The music box only for you’s skill is activated.]
The desert collapsed.
Like an hourglass turned upside down.
The sand that formed infinite horizons fell down, down, endlessly collapsing and disappearing.
“I will sing for the Death King.”
[The skill is activated.]
“As long as you wish for me, I will sing only according to the grooves carved by the Death King. Becoming an instrument that no one but Gong-ja can play. An instrument that remembers only one music, I will be.”
Ssshhh.
The golden fur settled down.
“So.”
“Yes.”
I held the fox’s paw.
“From now on, the constellation I serve is only you.”
The child to become my deity.
[Congratulations.]
[‘The music box only for you’ is your constellation.]
[You are the only follower of ‘The music box only for you’.]
In an oasis of a desert not more than 5 pyeong in size.
I made a pact with a grey fox.
*****
ED: Regarding the part, “The fox pondered over the seven syllables it could choose, about the seven blanks the world allowed it,” it mentions seven syllables, just as the black boxes are shown instead of its name ‘■■■■ ■■ ■■■.’ This is correct, as the constellation name ‘The music box only for you’ in Korean is ‘당신만을 위한 오르골,’ which has seven syllables ‘■■■■ ■■ ■■■.’ Therefore, I have left it as is. Just know that it’s not wrong; it’s just challenging to convert everything into English translation accurately. I could adjust the syllable part to match the English translation, but then I would need to change the black boxes used instead of the name, and I would have to make that change in s as well, which would result in too many black boxes. Plus, I would rather translate another chapter instead of revising previous ones for this issue, as it’s not that significant of a problem.
*****