The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich
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The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich - Chapter 701: The Broken Potions of Calamity
Chapter 701: The Broken Potions of Calamity
Translator: imperfectluck Editor: Kurisu
The entire world was burning in the boiling sea of fire.
Yet, the elemental war had just begun. All sorts of large fire beasts were killing each other. In the hottest area, the Fire Elemental Lords were also killing each other.
Some of them wanted to obtain more territory. Some of them wanted the right to invade the mortal plane and participate in the elemental war. Some simply wanted to destroy things as part of their basic instinct.
Peace was completely unsuitable for fire element creatures as they would naturally desire battle. It was just like how fire would never be able to remain at room temperature. Every single second, a fire element creature’s instinct to do battle would be like an eruption within it, and right now, the lack of a Fire Elemental God made the elemental war even more violent than normal.
The Dimensional Door wasn’t open wide enough, so they couldn’t all pass through. Thus, the fire element creatures fought with and killed their own. They weren’t allies with each other. Only those who survived the longest here would be allowed to enter the mortal plane.
Among all the Fire Elemental Lords, there were plenty who were actually demons or devils from the lower planes. This was a rare opportunity for them to gain power, and they also loved slaughtering, so of course they wouldn’t miss this chance.
However, one new Fire Elemental Lord among them was displaying her endless potential. All the fire element creatures who died in front of her would transform into a portion of her endless sea of fire. This Fire Elemental Lord was Elisa, the Flame Sea Marchioness!
She became ever stronger through devouring and evolving. Her special ability constantly strengthened her as she fought and killed in the Fire Elemental Plane. Countless Fire Elemental Lords joined her army after being killed and reborn in a new form. Perhaps a new Fire Elemental God would soon be born. Elisa would be the only ruler of the Fire Elemental Plane at that time.
But right now, her tremendous figure was standing on top of her own sea of fire with a blank look in her eyes.
In a way, when I returned from training in the Fire Elemental Plane, I knew that it would be time for me to face the results of what had happened with those damned gender-changing potions. I had prepared for countless hypothetical scenarios and how I should respond.
For instance, if Krose was the final victor, maybe Victoria would completely erupt in anger. The dark elves and Church of Law would suddenly become mortal enemies instead of allies. It would become impossible for me to resolve the situation then.
That was why I had Harloys notify Diana that should the situation require it, Diana was to use forceful means to resolve the problem. I trusted Diana’s moral character, and also trusted that she could absolutely dominate any Church of Law job class member.
Also, if Victoria was hypothetically the victor in the end, the Church of Law would… hold a huge celebratory party that their idol was still so pure and beautiful. Krose would then cry to herself and do nothing. It felt like this would be the most acceptable outcome.
“Hey, Harloys, could you tell me which side won before I arrive? I would like some time to mentally prepare myself.”
Harloys’ clones had already transmitted the information over to her on the end result of what happened to the gender-changing potions, but no matter how much I asked, she would only smile mysteriously at me in response. This really made me worry even more.
But before I reached the frontlines of battle against the volcanic district, a transparent banshee blocked my way.
He didn’t have a single trace of anger from holding a grudge like normal undead would. He was incredibly clean. His slightly pointy ears and handsome face indicated that he had been an elf while still alive.
“Your Highness Roland.”
The male elf banshee smiled bitterly at me and greeted me in the elven formal style. However, the greeting used indicated that “he” was actually female.
“A transvestite banshee…? No, wait, you’re Suana!?”
Suana’s smile became even more bitter and even rather pitiful.
At first, I was astonished, and then I was delighted… Ahem, ahem, don’t blame me for being shameless here, as Suana getting hit by this potion was probably one of the least damaging results possible. Although it seemed inconceivable how even a banshee could change gender, it would still be simple to deal with since Suana was the one affected.
“Rest assured, I will create a new physical body for you, a female one. Although things might be a little strange for you in the future, like maybe how you’ll have a hard time with getting used to how to go to the bathroom, overall, it’ll be fine!”
‘So Suana’s luck stat was even lower than those two unfortunate elves’ luck stat? Is this the evil will of the world? Or is it that all natural undead have luck stats of E?’
Of course, I didn’t say the last part out loud. I just tried my best to console Suana as I promised to help her resolve this problem.
At this moment, it started to drizzle. Rain got on Suana’s banshee body, and she instantly transformed into a female again. But wasn’t this supposed to be the special trait of the Spring of a Drowned Woman? Didn’t Suana get splashed with the Spring of a Drowned Man potion?
“System, you made an error with creating your potions?”
[My replicas aren’t the originals. These potions directly change the person’s fundamental gender by rewriting natural laws. They shouldn’t even have the trait of changing gender again when splashed by water. I don’t understand why this would be the case?]
Damn it, even the System didn’t even know what was going on? Was this the legendary phenomenon: unexpected side effects from expired counterfeit drugs?
“…Actually, I came here to stop you from going back. Otherwise, there will be great trouble.”
Suana’s attitude was quite sincere. However, I really didn’t understand. Didn’t the critical Spring of a Drowned Man potion get splashed and used on her body already? Why would there still be major trouble? Even if there was trouble, shouldn’t it be from Victoria and Krose giving Suana trouble?
I then glared at Harloys because she likely knew everything already, but only wanted to watch the situation unfold and have fun.
“Actually, it’s like this…”
From what Suana told me, after I left for the Fire Elemental Plane, the two gender-changing potions indeed caused a battle, but at least both sides restrained themselves, and nobody died…
“One-third of the entire defense line against the volcanic district was eradicated. The Northlands’ rulers were laughing at what they watched…”
But what happened next was truly ridiculous. Neither side was able to outright win. In the end, someone unknown came up with a ridiculous idea…
“Since these are such miraculous potions, let us find a professional alchemist to research the contents for us. The best alchemist in the entire world is here in the Northlands!”
“Miracle Alchemist Olivia!”
Olivia was now incredibly famous. She was no longer the novice alchemist from before. The moment that her Olivia’s Magic Box became the fundamental invention which started the revolution of magical engineering, she became a household name.
Olivia happily accepted the job of researching the two gender-changing potions. She combined them, took samples, purified them, and so on… Well, it was likely that everyone had forgotten that what Olivia was truly famous for was magical engineering, not alchemy. Her potions would always have the strangest possible effects.
In the end, Olivia discovered that she was unable to replicate the gender-changing potions, so she disappeared, leaving only three bottles of potion behind. Oh, and the potions she left behind were now colorless and unlabeled.
“Wait a moment, you said three potions?”
“That’s right. Nobody knows what Miracle Alchemist Olivia did to the potions. When they opened up her laboratory, there were only those three potion bottles on the table.”
Damn it all! Countless ominous premonitions filled my mind. Two potions were already too much, but now there was one extra? That seemed even worse!
The request had been for her to replicate the Spring of the Drowned Woman potion, yet the end result was that she combined the potions, and both potions’ effects would take place simultaneously?
So this meant that the trait of changing gender when splashed by water was something that Olivia added to the potion? She truly was a genius alchemist, capable of doing anything!
“What happened next?”
“When everyone discovered that Olivia had failed, they started fighting over the potions again. One potion was knocked away, and it smashed onto my head…”
Suana seemed like she really wanted to cry. I definitely understood what it felt like to experience sudden misfortune, but just this alone shouldn’t have been enough for Suana to want to stop me from returning.
“Her Highness Reyne’s blue dragon concubine obtained one of the potions. Her hand then ‘slipped’, and she dropped the potion on Her Highness Reyne’s body…”
Damn it, how could that possibly have been a slip of her hand? She had been that accurate? Would anyone believe that?
“ROLAND!”
In the distance, I saw a blonde-haired knight riding a handsome horse, charging at me with killing intent. Why did that face look so familiar? No, wait, damn it, that face was identical to mine!
“The final bottle was accidentally smashed on Kakagar, the former ruler of Sharal, who came over to try and convince everyone to stop fighting…”
“Your Highness Roland, please save me!”
I then saw a gigantic “beauty” who was more than 1.8 meters tall and weighed more than 200 kilograms running towards me. The way that Kakagar’s fat kept bouncing made me think of a pig awaiting slaughter at the butcher’s. I instantly turned around and started running.
“Damn it all, who ever said that changing gender to become a woman would result in becoming beautiful? That’s a complete lie!”