Beware Of Chicken
Beware Of Chicken - Volume 3 Chapter 23: Home Video

Darkness.

Nothingness.

Then, Qi. Slow and steady, like the earth.

The crystal chimed.

The recording started.

Facets swam with colour, and filled with inner light. In an instant a world came to life, snapping into perfect clarity. The images were so crisp and sharp that reality almost paled in comparison.

An image of a large man with green eyes, and freckled cheeks formed within the crystal's depths. He stood within a brightly lit area, the ceiling and walls the crystal captured behind him were made of rustic yet well cared for wood. He was squinting at the crystal, before he grinned and nodded, satisfied.

鈥淭here we go. Testing, testing, one-two.鈥?he said, as the image panned down, then rose up again. 鈥淎lright, good to go!鈥?He cleared his throat as the angle of the image rose higher and panned wider, revealing more of his head and shoulders. 鈥淎lright, the Rou Family Solstice preparations, year two! Winter Month fifteen, Year of the Goat.鈥?/p>

The view spun, taking in the rest of the room. It was warm and homey-looking, bright and inviting, and most certainly 鈥榣ived in.鈥?There were tools hanging on the walls, as well as images that seemed to have been captured, then printed onto stone. One was of a house between two rivers and beside it was another of multiple people making stupid faces. There were many more such works lovingly hung in rows on the wall. An orange haired girl posing beside a sculpture, a boar and a dragon grinning at each other, a rooster on a post, calling out at the sun. A glimpse of life on the farm.

There were also two desks, one against each wall, and one below a window. The one below the window looked a bit messy and cluttered with papers and half built projects, the other neat and orderly, brushes and combs arranged by size, alongside thick pairs of gloves and a scroll titled 鈥淥n the Mixing of Poultices鈥? There was a bed in the middle of the room, its headboard against the wall, and a few dressers for storage.

The man, satisfied with having captured the room, exited into a hallway through the door.

鈥淟ots different than the first time I did this huh?鈥?The man continued, glancing up at the crystal. 鈥淕ot the house all finished. Man, last year this was just open, and had no floor.鈥?The crystal shifted, as the man stomped his foot against the sturdy floorboards, then panned to point at a door in the hallway.

鈥淭hese are鈥?well, they were originally supposed to be for the kids, but they鈥檙e kinda just other people鈥檚 rooms now? I鈥檓 going to have to build an extension, or something. That one is Lanlan鈥檚 room, and the one beside that is supposed to be for Tigu鈥檈r鈥攏ot that she ever sleeps there.鈥?/p>

The image shifted to the other side of the room. 鈥淵un Ren sleeps there sometimes, but we got one empty room for now.鈥?/p>

The man continued walking down the hallway. At the end, there was a door, and to the left was the stairwell.

鈥淎fter the bedrooms, there is, drumroll please鈥︹€?The man tapped his hand against his leg rapidly, as he opened the door. 鈥淭he library! It actually looks like a library now.鈥?/p>

The room was extremely brightly lit, the walls lined with shelves鈥?one was already entirely filled with scrolls, and there were medical diagrams hung on the opposite side. There was also a table, several plush looking seats as well as an upright and hard backed one.

鈥淎nd the piece de resistance鈥?鈥?/p>

The crystal panned upwards, exposing an expanse of glass, where sunlight streamed in, warming the room.

鈥淭he skylight! Noodle really came through on this one. It looks great. I always wanted a library with a skylight鈥攁lmost as much as I wanted a greenhouse.鈥?/p>

The image came back down to the man, as he turned from the room stepping back into the hall. He headed down a set of stairs and began to descend them. 鈥淲e gotta get more books than just medical scrolls and the stuff Uncle Bao gave us at some point, but it's looking good, eh?鈥?He asked the crystal as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

The man walked into a larger room with a vaulted ceiling. Lanterns hung on the wall, adding a steady warm light to the room and brightening it more than just the windows provided.

鈥淗ere鈥檚 the living room. This hasn't changed too much, but we got a few more couches.鈥?/p>

The crystal panned again, taking in the room. There were three couches, all of which had odd extensions, almost like perches, along their backs. There was also a jar, a large pillow, and a slightly smaller one beside it. They were all arranged around a traditional fireplace. It was raised above the floor level. The edges of the fireplace were adorned with bright red socks, each one of them bearing a name above them.

The man鈥檚 tone was wistful as he stared at the stockings, before shaking his head. 鈥淣ormally we鈥檇 be pretty full here, but鈥︹€?The image shifted up, as the man walked through the house towards an opening just by the stairs, heading to a small hallway that led into a large kitchen. An open door on the opposite side from the entrance revealed a stone room with a river winding through it. The crystal captured a whirlwind of activity centered on preparations for a meal. A heavily pregnant woman with green hair chopping and dicing aided by a rat dashing from place to place and a dainty, pretty pig gracefully cleaning.

鈥淔irst, my beautiful, amazing wife, the Legendary Healing Sage along with her lovely and wonderful assistants, Peppa and Rizzo!鈥?/p>

The woman looked up from her work and rolled her eyes at the title, flushing slightly. She did, however, rise up onto her toes as the man leaned down to kiss her. The rat squeaked, waving, while the pig sketched a bow.

鈥淲hat鈥檆ha making, love?鈥?the man asked, as the crystal peaked into the woks and pots.

鈥淭his one is stir-fry, this one is squash soup, we have some dumplings here, and this one is spicy prawns.鈥?The woman narrated, smiling at the crystal.

鈥淚t smells delicious.鈥?The man said, and there was a shift in his Qi. Scent flooded the crystal, as it captured the heady aroma of spices that filled the air, with warm, cooking food.

鈥淒amn straight it's delicious! We have to be all fueled up for tonight.鈥?The woman said with a smile.

鈥淵es ma鈥檃m! And these also smell like they鈥檙e almost done鈥︹€?The man walked over to an oven and opened the door. The crystal peered into the space exposing a baking tray. The man simply reached his hand in and took it out, examining crisp golden objects cut into a variety of shapes.

鈥淗ere we are. The ancient family recipe. If I told you I'd have to kill you.鈥?The man said, and his wife snorted.

鈥淚t's got spicebark, ginger鈥斺€?She began, a sly smile on her face.

鈥淎h babbabbab!鈥?The man interrupted as the woman chuckled.

He slid them off onto a rack to cool, and picked up another tray, sliding it into the oven.

鈥淭hey鈥檙e really good.鈥?The woman said, as she kept cooking.

The man paused as he closed the oven door, then his eyes widened. He turned back to the rack of cookies and counted them, before turning to his wife with an accusing glare.

鈥淢eimei, we said no cookies until they were iced.鈥?he said, almost petulant. He turned to mockingly glare at the woman and her assistant.

She whistled innocently, while the rat and the pig looked in other directions. The rat quickly wiped a crumb she had missed off her whiskers.

鈥淐ookie thieves.鈥?the man declared. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e all cookie thieves! How dare you! You have broken the sacred pact!鈥?/p>

鈥淨uality control. I took it upon myself to ensure they weren鈥檛 poisoned.鈥?/p>

The man harrumphed, glaring. Then took a cookie for his own, biting into it. Meimei stuck her tongue out at him.

Shaking his head the man walked back out of the kitchen, still chewing. He made a noise of approval and returned to the living room.

鈥淲e abscond from the den of the foul cookie thieves!鈥?The man raised his voice, shouting back at the kitchen, before shaking his head, and walking to the 鈥榣eft鈥?of the house if one entered through the front door and the mudroom.

He opened the door. 鈥淭his one is just storage, mostly, but people hang out here sometimes.鈥?There was a long table, and a piece of slate against the wall, filled with writing.

鈥淭hen, we got this鈥︹€?he walked to the end of the room, and turned, revealing that one of the walls held a sliding door. He peeked his head out.

The crystal followed, adjusting swiftly to the light, and exposing another scene. The outside of the house was surrounded by a veranda, and a frozen river was prominent through the snow.

A beautiful woman with crystal blue eyes was sitting beside a man and a second woman on the edge of the veranda, from this angle the crystal image could only see his back. Both of the women glanced up at the crystal.

All three wore similar clothes. A blue shirt with a maple leaf and a wheat sheaf on the back. The blue eyed woman was wearing a bright red, long and fluffy hat with a white pompom on the end.

鈥淴iulan and Xianghua giving Gou Ren a haircut.鈥?The man whispered to the crystal. 鈥淎nd I was wondering where my hat had gone to, Xiulan stole it.鈥?/p>

The man, Gou Ren glanced back at the sound of the voice. With his bushy side-burns he looked rather like a monkey. He flushed a bit at the presence of the crystal.

鈥淕ood Morning, Master Jin.鈥?The second woman with wavy hair and sharp eyes said politely, bowing and staring curiously at the crystal.

The woman with blue eyes, Xiulan, tutted as she raised a small blade. She smiled at the crystal. 鈥淛unior Brother let himself go.鈥?She scolded, and grabbed his face, turning his head back around and pointing at his sideburns.

鈥淚t still looks fine.鈥?Xianghua defended.

鈥淏ut he looks better with his hair cut?鈥?Xiulan pressed.

The wavy-haired woman refused to answer, and Xiulan smirked.

鈥淒o you have to record this, Jin?鈥?Gou Ren complained to the man with the crystal.

鈥?em>Obviously.鈥?Jin returned.

Gou Ren started to turn back around when Xiulan grabbed his shoulder and forced him to stay put. 鈥淛ust a trim here, see?鈥?The knife Xiulan was holding flashed out. The hair was trimmed in an instant, going from busy to clean, sharp lines.

Xianghua studied the cut carefully, and then raised a knife of her own. Another flash of steel, and the other sideburn was cut down to size, the strands floating off into the wind.

鈥淪ee? Better.鈥?Xiulan shifted her grip on Gou Ren鈥檚 shoulders, spinning him around for the crystal to take a good shot of his face. The man grumbled, but glanced at Xianghua, who nodded, running her hands along his face with a little smile.

The grumbling stopped.

Xiulan crossed her arms, looking self satisfied.

鈥淵ou must also return your words, Junior Brother. I did help you get a woman, no?鈥?She turned a teasing grin to Xianghua. 鈥淵ou may be with him, but I鈥檓 his Senior Sister. That makes me your Senior Sister too, does it not?鈥?/p>

Xianghua scoffed at the words, her face turning blank. 鈥淚鈥檇 sooner shatter my own meridians before calling you Senior Sister.鈥?/p>

A spark passed between them.

鈥淛unior Brother, look at this woman! She is too impolite and aggressive. I think a calmer, kinder girl would be better.鈥?Xiulan mused, pulling Gou Ren closer to her. 鈥淢y Sect鈥檚 An Ran is very cute, isn鈥檛 she?鈥?/p>

Xianghua鈥檚 eyes narrowed. She grabbed Gou Ren鈥檚 arm 鈥淵ou鈥檙e courting death, Cai Xiulan.鈥?/p>

鈥淭o the rink?鈥?Xiulan challenged.

鈥淎greed.鈥?/p>

Gou Ren simply looked at the crystal, his eyes mournful as he was dragged off by the pair towards the river. Jin only laughed as he glanced around at the river, shaking his head.

鈥淲ell, that was pretty much the house. I鈥檒l get my boots on, then go see everything else.鈥?The crystal followed as Jin went back inside to put on boots before going out the front door. What was revealed was a mostly cleared courtyard, free of snow, with a massive edifice rising up into the air nearby. It was a giant figure carved of snow, with soot buttons, tree trunks for arms, and a truly impressive carrot for a nose鈥?albeit one that had a large bite mark taken out of the end of it. Just visible on top of his tall hat made of blackened reeds, there was a figure.

鈥淭hat there's the General, even bigger than last year, and Yun Ren is using him as a perch.鈥?/p>

The man on top of the giant black hat made of reeds, just barely visible from the angle, waved down at Jin. Then, he raised a flat pane of crystal to his eye, a chime echoed out.

鈥淕ood view up there?鈥?Jin called.

鈥淚t's alright. The light ain鈥檛 the greatest.鈥?Yun Ren called back down. 鈥淚t's the clouds. I鈥檓 going to try another few shots then have a nap in front of the fire. Chun Ke promised me some persimmons!鈥?/p>

鈥淭hat鈥檚 a good plan!鈥?Jin called back, as he started walking away. The snow crunched under his feet as he followed a path leading towards the back onto a stone bridge in the frozen river.

It was cold. The crystal recorded this fact.

Out of the crystal鈥檚 viewpoint there was the distinct call of a rooster, and the flapping of wings. The crystal shifted just in time to catch the rooster, wearing a fox fur vest and a red hat with a pompom, landing on Jin鈥檚 shoulder.

鈥淗ey bud.鈥?The man said, scratching at the roster鈥檚 wattles. 鈥淎nd this is of course, the man, the myth, the legend himself, the mighty Big D. The First Disciple.鈥?/p>

The rooster with a red hat bowed to the crystal before settling in on Jin鈥檚 shoulder.

鈥淕ood day, descendants and Disciples. This Bi De wishes those who view this recording good health.鈥?/p>

鈥淵ou want to come along for the rest of the property?鈥?he asked the rooster.

鈥淥f course, Master.鈥?/p>

The crystal shifted, as the man started walking again.

鈥淲ell, that鈥檚 the barn, that鈥檚 the greenhouse, that's the extra wheat storage鈥?Man, it still gets me just how much we did this year.鈥?Jin pointed things out as they walked down the river.

鈥淚ndeed. Every disciple of this land has much merit to their names.鈥?The rooster agreed. 鈥淓ven now they toil! Look there, Brother Chun Ke and Brother Bei Be have just crested the rise, they must have finished tending to the paths and trails.鈥?/p>

The crystal focused on a boar and an ox, walking side by side cheerily. The boar spotted them, and began to charge down. The giant creature, nearly as big as a house, barreled down the slope, only to be caught by Jin, who stopped the beast鈥檚 momentum dead.

He laughed, and scratched at the scarred boar鈥檚 mane. 鈥淵ou gonna come for the tour too buddy?鈥?he asked the boar, who nodded eagerly. The crystal turned back to the ox鈥?who seemed to shrug, trotting up to the group at a more sedate pace.

鈥淎lright! To the drop hamer next!鈥?/p>

The recordings continued.

They continued their journey along the river, pausing only for a moment to watch two women hammer each other with sticks, each trying to get a small disc pushed on the ice from the other.

Their movements were sharp and brutal, yet neither gave the other an advantage. Gou Ren was just shaking his head as he carved another stick, sitting on the sidelines as he let them get it out of their systems.

Eventually the group arrived at the drop hammer. It was a furnace of industry, as a snake, a rabbit, a monkey and a young man blew colorful glass ornaments. They attached metal fixtures so that the crafted ornaments could be hung鈥?the drop hammer itself was already bedecked in many similar ornaments. It shone with the reflected light from ornaments that were mostly shaded in red, with some blues, yellows, and oranges, like the rising sun.

Jin took a few to hang on the plow the ox was carrying, much to the ox鈥檚 amusement.

They trekked through a winter wonderland, a man, a boar, an ox, and a chicken. Their path took them beneath the trees, some boughs bare, while others were evergreen and proud, jutting high into the sky.

鈥淚 still don鈥檛 know what to do with most of this. I honestly think I鈥檒l just leave a lot of it. There's nothing better than to have an adventure through a forest close to home, and these things are old.鈥?/p>

Jin patted a tree affectionately, until he seemed to notice something.

鈥淗ey, Tigu鈥檈r, Wa Shi, where have you guys been?鈥?Jin asked as the crystal zoomed in on an orange haired girl carrying a jar with a fish in it. She had on a red hat and a thick coat. Both jumped and the girl nearly dropped the jar, fumbling around with it for a moment. She turned wide yellow eyes to the recording crystal, her face flushed. She glanced down at the fish for support, who took one look at her, then abandoned her, diving to the bottom of the jar.

鈥淲e were鈥?just finishing stuff.鈥?The girl said evasively.

There was silence as the man stared at her. He considered her words, then nodded his head.

鈥淲ell alright then you two, do you!鈥?Jin said after a moment. The girl with the fish in a jar shot off, the girl snarling bloody murder at her cowardly companion.

鈥淟ast minute gifts. It never changes.鈥?Jin said, shaking his head with a fond smile.

There were starts and stops in the recording. Xiulan and Xianghua supported each other as they limped back home, smiles on their faces. Yun Ren laying on a couch beside Chunky, eating persimmons. Gou Ren massaging Xiaghua鈥檚 shoulders, as Jin did the same to Xiulan. Bowu, the young man from the drop hammer, coming back with a box full of gleaming glass orbs.

A toast at dinner. A massive table, filled with people and food.

And then鈥?cookies. Icing was applied, dried fruits and nuts produced. It was a warm affair, with so many people shoved around a table. Gou Ren smeared icing on the younger man鈥檚 cheek. Meimei grinned, as she held up a cookie shaped like a man, who had a massive鈥eapon.

The crystal recorded as Mei cackled with glee as everybody else groaned, the woman grabbing at her husband鈥檚 waistband suggestively.

That was not the last cookie that looked rude.

It was an eclectic mix. Some were works of art, like the stripy cat, or the proud rooster. Chun Ke chuffed with pride over his own creation, a star with offset eyes and a crooked smile, that he had managed to do himself. The fish in his jar begged to be the one allowed to eat 鈥渉is Brother鈥檚 mighty creation.鈥?/p>

Decorations were hung. Cookies were finished. The dishes were cleaned, and they all sat around the fireplace.

鈥淎nd thats a wrap. Rou family Solstice preparations year two.鈥?Jin said, smiling at the crystal. 鈥淪ay goodnight, everybody!鈥?/p>

The crystal panned across the room, as people waved, with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

The Qi faded.

The Crystal chimed, finishing its recording.

It鈥檚 task complete, it archived the recollections within its depths.