Vainqueur the Dragon
Vainqueur the Dragon - Chapter 126: Relationship Boards

This wasn鈥檛 how Victor imagined his first 'ultrasound' session as a future father. Then again, he never expected to have one in the first place, and especially not in a ghoul-run undead clinic.

鈥淎s you can see,鈥?Jules explained, projecting his divination spell on the white wall opposite to the patient鈥檚 bed. 鈥淭he living fetus is developing at an accelerated rate compared to a standard humanoid, probably due to her fiendish nature. Since fiends are 鈥榖orn鈥?ready to fight, we must assume little Brani帽a should at least be able to walk on birth.鈥?/p>

鈥淚s she going to claw her way out?鈥?Isabelle asked, laying in a bed while Victor sat at her side, holding her hand. 鈥淏rani帽o was insufferably impatient, I had to kick him out early.鈥?/p>

鈥淯nlikely, considering your resistance to Physical damage.鈥?/p>

Victor slightly zoned out, as Jules went into details about demon morphology. The picture of his daughter on the wall obsessed him; a tiny baby with wings, a tail, and sharp nails. Something he should have been disturbed by, but in truth?

In truth, she was the most beautiful thing in the world.

鈥淪he has your tail and your wings,鈥?Isabelle noted.

鈥淎nd she has your everything else,鈥?Victor noted as well. 鈥淚 thought she was half Humanoid though, not half Dragon?鈥?/p>

鈥淒ragon blood is strong,鈥?Jules said. 鈥淚t is bound to assert itself in some way. In fact, she may even inherit a breath of some kind.鈥?/p>

鈥淎fter this, Darling, I want to be spoiled,鈥?Isabelle said, caressing his cheek with her finger. 鈥淏ecause I intend to spoil you too.鈥?/p>

鈥淚 have prepared the best vacation resort,鈥?he replied.

Unfortunately for him, she aimed a little higher. 鈥淵ou lack ambition. While Hellhound fights are the latest fad, I will settle for nothing less than gladiatorial games in my honor.鈥?/p>

鈥淲hat?鈥?Victor panicked. 鈥淚n the middle of a war?鈥?/p>

鈥淒arling, this is your heir and me we are talking about,鈥?she replied pompously. 鈥淏ring those lesser tarasques you have been breeding, and have them fight for my amusement.鈥?/p>

鈥淚鈥?I鈥檒l see what I can do,鈥?he said evasively.

鈥淢r. Victor.鈥?Victor鈥檚 succubi summons entered the room, surrounding a prisoner whom he identified as Sigrun, Wotan鈥檚 head Valkyrie. At least the fact that he was now their 鈥榚xclusive鈥?employer meant that they did bodyguarding full time. 鈥淲e caught her sniffing around.鈥?/p>

鈥淚 did not come to threaten you,鈥?the Valkyrie protested. 鈥淟ord Wotan asked us to behave.鈥?/p>

鈥淭hen why are you here?鈥?Victor asked, slightly on edge with his unborn children in the building.

Charisma check successful.

鈥淚 was curious,鈥?Sigrun admitted. 鈥淲e Valkyries, we never鈥︹€?/p>

鈥淏attle maiden?鈥?Victor squinted when she left her sentence hanging.

She glared at him, before looking away. 鈥淚 do not understand how any female warrior could accept this indignity,鈥?she declared, looking at Isabelle Maure. 鈥淗ow can you fight in this state?鈥?/p>

鈥淲ith [Insta-Death] spells and brimstone,鈥?the archdevil replied with cold disdain. 鈥淚 usually have others fight for me anyway.鈥?/p>

The Valkyrie crossed her arms, unable to find a good answer.

鈥淢r. Victor,鈥?one of his marilith spoke up. 鈥淪ince we are all gathered in the same room, perhaps we can discuss the honeymoon.鈥?/p>

The Vizier froze. 鈥淭he honeymoon?鈥?/p>

鈥淧art of the settlement is that we are treated with the care of official mistresses,鈥?the serpentine demon replied. 鈥淪ince our company has a strong esprit de corps, we have decided to form a union and equally share our privileges.鈥?/p>

鈥淎s such, we want an official romantic honeymoon to celebrate our new, exclusive partnership,鈥?a succubus added. 鈥淲e thought a luxury group trip to the Elemental Plane of Water would be more than adequate.鈥?/p>

鈥淒o not worry about the cost calculations for all the expensive dinners, massages, spas, etc, we did it for you.鈥?/p>

鈥淵ou do know we are about to declare war on Prydain soon?鈥?Victor asked them with heavy sarcasm.

鈥淲e understand the political climate, which is why we agreed to postpone after your inevitable victory,鈥?the marilith replied mirthfully. 鈥淏ut we want to make the reservations early.鈥?/p>

鈥淲e also want more emotional care,鈥?a winged demoness added. 鈥淲e wish to be considered as more than lust objects; we want each of us to have dates, dinners, intimate emotional connections鈥?our customer value is almost as important as money to us.鈥?/p>

Victor sighed. Much to his shame, he didn鈥檛 actually remember the names of half of them, so he had a long way to go.

鈥淥h, also, that reminds me!鈥?Jules spoke up. 鈥淭he Lynette paternity test returned positive. She agreed not to file charges in exchange for a pension, a vacation house in Murmurin, and an official title.鈥?/p>

鈥淲hat?鈥?the [Reaper] almost jumped back, knowing the agony his budget already experienced. 鈥淎nother, other alimony payment? I haven鈥檛 even seen her in more than seven years!鈥?/p>

鈥淒arling, if this peasant is causing you problems, we can purge her,鈥?Isabelle suggested happily.

鈥淣obody is purging anyone!鈥?Victor replied firmly.

鈥淚 take back what I said,鈥?Sigrun said, having observed the scene. 鈥淭he male is obviously the most miserable in this arrangement.鈥?/p>

鈥淰ICTOR!鈥?The bedroom鈥檚 door opened wide, an angry goblin stepping through. 鈥淵OU TRAITOR!鈥?/p>

Why did he have the feeling the day was only about to get worse? 鈥淕oblina, I swear I was going to tell鈥斺€?/p>

鈥淵ou are going to have a child with our teacher?鈥?Goblina glared at the Vizier, before violently pushing a surprised Sigrun out of her way. 鈥淎nd you didn鈥檛 make me the godmother?! I thought we were friends!鈥?/p>

鈥淲e wanted to announce it under better circumstances,鈥?Isabelle replied, having considered the goblin her second most favorite student at Scholomance. 鈥淢aybe even organize a class reunion, to see how far everyone has gone.鈥?/p>

鈥淚t鈥檚 fine, I forgive you both, so long as I get to be the godmother,鈥?the goblin brushed it off, instantly fascinated by Isabelle鈥檚 stomach. 鈥淚s that why you always had top grades in [Diabolism], Vic?鈥?/p>

鈥淚 had private lessons,鈥?he admitted.

鈥淚 am going to spoil her rotten,鈥?Goblina gushed. 鈥淚 will give her a gun for her first birthday, so she can snipe rebels as soon as she can aim.鈥?/p>

鈥淢y, that is very thoughtful of you,鈥?Isabelle replied, with a smile. 鈥淰ictor told me that you have conquered your first country? I am recruiting the best trainers for my Brani帽a, perhaps you would be interested in taking her as an apprentice once she comes of age?鈥?/p>

鈥淚 would be delighted to show her the ropes!鈥?/p>

Victor suddenly realized that his daughter may grow up surrounded by bad influences. 鈥淥h jeez, look at the time,鈥?he said, eager to escape the room. 鈥淚 have to visit Chocolatine.鈥?/p>

鈥淵our other woman,鈥?Isabelle said, looking at him strangely, 鈥淒arling, you remember that Brani帽a is your heir? I鈥檓 sure she will be delighted to have half-siblings, as long as they remember she is the eldest and first in line. You know how decadent courts full of intrigue develop.鈥?/p>

He had followed enough courses to know he wanted to avoid such a setup at all costs. 鈥淚鈥檒l make sure everyone gets along, family first,鈥?Victor replied, although the discussion soured his mood a little.

He moved to another room of the clinic, where he found Chocolatine on a bed, attended by undead and Allison. 鈥淗ello, handsome,鈥?the dryad told him.

鈥淗i, Vic.鈥?Chocolatine waved at him, a ghost casting detection spells on her. 鈥淚sn鈥檛 it a bit early for a magicography? I am only a few weeks pregnant.鈥?/p>

鈥淭hey鈥檙e just checking for potential biological problems early,鈥?he replied. 鈥淚 mean, you are a werewolf, the kids are wereslimes and weredragons. There may be complications, like the kids chewing their way out.鈥?/p>

鈥淥h, can we visit my brother when they鈥檙e done? So he knows he will become an uncle soon?鈥?she all but begged him. 鈥淒o you know he settled down with Savoureuse on the Dark Side of the Mooooon?鈥?/p>

Yeah, he had heard. Charlene had come barging into his office when she learned the news, furious that her loathed ex was happily settling down. Victor was pretty sure that it gave ideas he could have done without right now. 鈥淪ure,鈥?he said, before making a face.

鈥淰ic?鈥?Chocolatine asked as he moved on the opposite side to Allison. 鈥淚s something wrong?鈥?/p>

鈥淚 will have to remove you from my [Black Horseman] perk.鈥?/p>

The werewolf said nothing, blinking in surprise, then gave him a quick kiss. 鈥淰ic, you have touched her first,鈥?Chocolatine said, her ear lowering in disappointment. 鈥淎re you replacing me with her?鈥?/p>

鈥淣o!鈥?he replied hastily, holding her. 鈥淏ut Choc, things are going to keep getting worse from now on. I don鈥檛 want to put you in danger.鈥?/p>

鈥淚鈥檓 [Crested], Vic,鈥?she replied proudly. 鈥淚 can take care of myself.鈥?/p>

鈥淚 know,鈥?he said. 鈥淏ut you鈥檙e not alone anymore.鈥?/p>

Chocolatine bit her lower lip, but saw reason. 鈥淐hoose someone who can help then,鈥?the werewolf said. 鈥淟ike Al, or Charlene!鈥?/p>

鈥淚鈥檒l consider those with the best fighting abilities,鈥?he promised. 鈥淚鈥檒l keep visiting you whenever I can.鈥?/p>

They hugged, but this time, it felt sadder than comforting.

As he exited the room and prepared to teleport out, Allison stopped him, closing the door so Choc wouldn鈥檛 listen. 鈥淰ic,鈥?she said. 鈥淵ou are clearly unwell.鈥?/p>

鈥淚s it that obvious?鈥?he asked. Truth be told, the stress of keeping the peace, of managing his newfound family, and preparing for war gnawed at him.

"I am a priestess,鈥?the dryad replied, holding his hand. 鈥淧eople come to me when they need to confide, or to release tension. I can serve as your therapist, if you need it."

"I'm not sure you're supposed to sleep with your therapist."

"In Cybele's church, it's part of the healing process," the dryad replied, confirming what he had always suspected about the hippie church. "I know you use physical intimacy to cope with the pressure of your position, but in your case, I believe that you need an ear. We can simply talk. I will listen and I won't judge."

He considered it, before letting out a heavy breath. 鈥淚 would prefer talking,鈥?the Vizier admitted. 鈥淪omeone to help unload the burden.鈥?/p>

鈥淭hen tell me鈥斺€?/p>

鈥淏reeder Dalton!鈥?/p>

The walls of the clinic trembled, the booming voice coming from outside. Victor and Allison immediately rushed to the window, opening it to find a blue, lightning wyrm right outside. 鈥淟ord Grandrake?鈥?Victor blinked.

鈥淭he world needs you!鈥?the wyrm shouted. 鈥淚 crossed the sea to seek your help!鈥?/p>

鈥淎re the fomors attacking El Goldorado?鈥?Allison panicked.

鈥淣o.鈥?Grandrake shook his head. 鈥淚 cannot find any Mushroom Prince, all remaining elf royals are more inbred than Zmeys, and orc males are too stupid to breed. Many of our captive princesses may go extinct in two generations.鈥?/p>

Oh, good. Viva la democracy.

Wait, wait. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 mean鈥斺€?/p>

鈥淚 have heard the wonderful news,鈥?Grandrake confirmed. 鈥淵ou can breed half-dragons, which makes you the next best thing to a true prince. You can enhance true princessness with perfect dragon genes.鈥?/p>

Victor and Allison exchanged a glance.

鈥淏reeder Dalton, follow me,鈥?Grandrake declared as if laying some kind of great chosen one prophecy before the [Reaper]. 鈥淔ollow me, to Goldorado! You must fulfill your destiny!鈥?/p>

Victor nodded, once, twice, and then spoke two words.

鈥淸Emergency Teleport]!鈥?/p>

To honor Seng and relieve tension before the Conclave, Victor had organized a Monster Poker tournament in her honor.

Countless monsters had gathered in the central plaza to either play or observe the battles; demon and orc entrepreneurs had quickly set stands and improvised bars to service everyone, running through stocks of whiskey and tarasque food.

Vainqueur himself played, using an orc woman as his hand; since the tournament involved teams of two to foster cooperation, the dragon played alongside a conscripted Gorynych. Surprisingly, their opponents, Rolo and Jack, seemed to hold their own, mostly thanks to the Zmey's stubborn attempts to play the tiny cards with his big hands.

And King Wotan stood nearby, observing the scene in silence. While some of his Valkyries mingled with Murmurin鈥檚 citizens and seemed to get along, nobody dared break the ice with the mighty fomor.

Walking through the crowd under the cover of a [Perfect Invisibility] spell鈥?one capable of hiding his body odor and the sound of footsteps鈥?Victor decided to let the fomor alone for now, noticing Kia near to a bar stand. 鈥淵ou鈥檝e stopped playing?鈥?he asked the [Paladin], startling her as he sat right next to her. 鈥淚 thought you had jumped on the Monster Poker bandwagon.鈥?/p>

鈥淰ic, is that you?" she looked around, "Are you invis鈥斺€?/p>

鈥淪hush!鈥?he replied, putting a hand on her shoulder. 鈥淕randrake has been stalking me for hours and is incredibly perceptive. He always finds me.鈥?/p>

This was insane. How could a giant creature be so good at ambushing someone a hundredth of his size?

Kia looked at him strangely鈥攐r rather, in his rough direction鈥攂ut didn鈥檛 comment. 鈥淚 went to the quarterfinals with my partner, but Rolo and his fairy 'friend' demolished us.鈥?/p>

鈥淟ooks like they鈥檙e doing well,鈥?Victor said, surprised. He could count the number of players who had survived past the first round against Vainqueur on one finger.

鈥淩olo plays a broken [Farmland] deck, and Jack is almost as nasty. I didn鈥檛 even know [Plants] were competitively viable.鈥?Kia glanced at Wotan with a hint of paranoia. 鈥淗ow did you convince two fomors to behave?鈥?/p>

鈥淏lame Chocolatine for Jack, and five charisma checks for Wotan,鈥?he replied. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e worried?鈥?/p>

鈥淵eah, I am. I spent a decade fighting them.鈥?Still, Victor took the fact that no fight had broken out yet as a good sign. 鈥淚鈥檝e also been meaning to ask, is this Seng prophet rumor true?鈥?/p>

鈥淵es,鈥?he said, 鈥淚 did it for you.鈥?/p>

鈥淥h, Vic.鈥?She made a face full of compassion. 鈥淵ou sold your body for me?鈥?/p>

鈥淣o!鈥?God damn it, Victor didn鈥檛 solve all his problems by prostituting himself! 鈥淚 simply agreed to help spread her faith after she put her tentacle on鈥攜ou know what, nevermind.鈥?/p>

鈥淗ow is鈥︹€?The [Paladin] shook her head. 鈥淗ow does your mess of a love life even function?鈥?/p>

鈥淏esides the alimonies-fueled bankruptcy, the jealousy, the politics, and trying to make time for everyone?鈥?He let out a heavy sigh. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a lot more tiring than I thought it would be. Like Murmurin, there would have been a war by now without me to keep the peace. Managing an extended family is hard.鈥?/p>

鈥淥n one hand, I feel compassion for you; but on the other hand, you also brought it on yourself.鈥?/p>

鈥淚 know,鈥?Victor replied. 鈥淏ut I didn鈥檛 think it would be this bad. And now that they know I can have half-dragon kids, I get stalkers now. It鈥檚 even worse than after Vainqueur defeated Brandon Maure.鈥?/p>

鈥淚 know how it feels,鈥?Kia said. 鈥淭o pursue a goal, and realize that it wasn鈥檛 what they made it out to be. I鈥檝e been there too.鈥?/p>

Victor shook his head, wanting to change his mind. 鈥淲hat about your love life?鈥?/p>

鈥淎ctually,鈥?she stroked her hair, 鈥淚鈥檝e been seeing people.鈥?/p>

鈥淩eally?鈥?he looked at her curiously, but being invisible, she probably didn't notice.

鈥淵eah, there鈥檚 that half-orc [Paladin] of Isengrim, and that handsome dark elf I play Monster Poker with,鈥?Kia explained. 鈥淚t鈥檚 thanks to you actually. Since every fertile female monster in Murmurin is after you, except me, the lack of options forced the guys here to muster the courage to approach me. It is a very weird setup.鈥?/p>

鈥淵ou鈥檙e exaggerating.鈥?/p>

鈥淰ic, is there seriously a female creature between ten and鈥斺€?/p>

鈥淓ighteen.鈥?/p>

鈥淏etween eighteen and thirty in Murmurin that you haven鈥檛 slept with, or who didn鈥檛 try to get in your pants?鈥?/p>

鈥淲ell, easy. You.鈥?/p>

Kia seemed a little offended at this. 鈥淰ic, did you never make a move on me because I am a [Paladin],鈥?she marked a short pause, 鈥渙r because I am black?鈥?/p>

鈥淥h, no, I find you very attractive,鈥?Victor reassured her. At one point at Scholomance, he had even asked his succubus intern to polymorph into鈥?well鈥?鈥淚t鈥檚 just, honestly, you鈥檙e a straight-laced [Paladin] in the service of my patron goddess鈥?mortal enemy, and we have completely opposite outlooks on life."

Also, Camilla was already distraught about Vainqueur's last minute teleportation, and he had no intention to piss her off further. "I would rather have fewer women in my life right now, not more,鈥?Victor admitted.

鈥淵eah, don鈥檛 take it personally when I say a Hell-sponsored conqueror is not my type either,鈥?Kia replied. 鈥淣ow that I have suitors I get along with, though, I鈥檓 not sure which one I should pick.鈥?/p>

鈥淲hy not both?鈥?Victor asked the simple solution, before realizing how much that way of thinking had cost him. Old habits died hard.

鈥淚鈥檓 not a skirt-chaser like you, Vic,鈥?Kia replied, although without any condemnation. 鈥淚 want a person I can truly rely on, since my last serious boyfriend killed us both on Earth. Quality over quantity.鈥?/p>

Yeah, it would mean less headaches. 鈥淵ou remember the dungeon architect quest?鈥?Kia suddenly said.

鈥淭he one you found fishy?鈥?/p>

鈥淚 asked Charlene, and besides learning which criminal church sponsors it,鈥?she said, with a angry sneer on her face. 鈥淚 learned that the prize for this year is the [Plot Armor] artifact.鈥?/p>

Victor had heard of it. 鈥淵ou want us to participate?鈥?/p>

鈥淚t might be our last chance to gain levels before fighting Odieuse, and we could use a magic item that powerful.鈥?/p>

Speaking about levels鈥?Victor summoned a bottle of wine and put it on the counter. Kia didn鈥檛 react.

The Vizier suddenly realized that the invisibility spell was still active, and lifted it for the bottle. This time, Kia made a face at the sight.

鈥淭hat鈥檚 a bottle from Seng鈥檚 realm, which will make you drunk but not lift the curse. You must use it to earn a level in one of Seng鈥檚 chosen classes.鈥?Thankfully, he put his veto on [Fisherman]. 鈥淸Drunken Brawler]. If you succeed, as Seng鈥檚 prophet, I will confirm that you atoned for your apostasy.鈥?/p>

鈥淎nd if I do, the curse is lifted?鈥?she asked, her eyes full of hope, before towards the person behind the counter. 鈥淏ring me a pot of grease please!鈥?/p>

Victor wondered why she would order that until a busty orc barmaid delivered. Kia drank the whole bottle in one row, broke it, before putting her hands in the grease. Then she rolled them in the glass shards. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 not very [Paladin],鈥?Victor said, astonished.

鈥淏ut it鈥檚 very [Drunken Brawler],鈥?she replied with a savage face, the alcohol seeming to take effect. 鈥淎nd I can鈥檛 take saltwater anymore. I will do whatever it takes.鈥?/p>

What had he done? What had he done?

Silently walking away from what he expected to be a bar brawl of epic proportions, Victor wondered if he should approach Wotan, before deciding to let the titan and his Valkyrie posse make his own opinion about Murmurin. The Vizier wouldn鈥檛 always be present to smooth things over, and for his plan to work, the fomor lord needed to choose peace of his own volition.

Still, he would hang around, in case a catastrophe happened.

鈥淏reeder!鈥?Victor froze, turning his head to find Grandrake鈥檚 eye peeking over his shoulder. 鈥淏reeder Dalton, I have found you again.鈥?/p>

How? How did Grandrake manage to sneak up on him?! That mammoth was more than sixty-feet long, and the invisibility spell still active!

鈥淏reeder Dalton, you may have the cunning of a mermaid princess, but I have hunted far subtler prin鈥斺€?/p>

Grandrake鈥檚 boasting suddenly ended, as the dragon caught sight of King Wotan. The atmosphere became immediately suffused with ambient electricity, as the two ancient enemies looked at one another.

鈥?/p>

Uh, Charisma checks incoming.